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Monday, July 2, 2012

DIVOT Hybrid Deal

Monday, July 02, 2012

Nike VR Hybrid

Nike VR Hybrid

Product Features
  • Designed to meet the needs of the best players in the world
  • Adjusted face angle and optimized the center of gravity for maximum workability and distance
  • Features a 455 Ultra-Thin steel face with a Split Compression Chamber
  • Open face angle for better aesthetics from address
  • Headcover included
Nike VR Hybrid Specs
Divotman Begins:
Let's set some things straight. I'm not the son of a deceased billionaire mogul. I didn't come from a distant planet with a mission from my father. I have no parents, but not because they were taken from me. My origins are in a factory somewhere, probably in Asia, with thousands of brethren I haven't seen since I left the warehouse that served as my orphanage. You could say I'm a mutant of sorts since I'm a self-aware yet inanimate object. I think of it as more of a manufacturing error. An error, but not a defect.
As a divot tool, I fix your own errors. Tear up the turf and I'll make it right again. I'm the one who cleans up your crime scene. But that doesn't earn me a cape any more than Superman's journalism gives him an "S" on his chest. My real power was discovered during an unexpected battle against a diabolical hybrid.
I shared a warehouse with a Nike VR Hybrid. I'll admit that he's a good-looking hybrid, well-liked and powerful. The problem was that, like so many good-looking, well-liked, and powerful things, the VR was dangerously ambitious. He took the "Nike, Goddess of Victory" thing literally. He told everyone he was the offspring of Zeus and Thor, which makes no sense on multiple levels. He wanted to rule the entire warehouse as its god-king. He and his army of duplicates needed to be sold at a humiliatingly low price, and I had to take that sucker down.
To be honest, it wasn't all that difficult. Sure, he had a Split Compression Chamber that could make a ball smack me down from across the warehouse, but all I had to do was threaten to scratch his pretty 455 Ultra Thin steel face with my mighty divot feet. I slashed the VR hybrid's price from $179.99 (MSP) to $39.99 without even leaving a mark.
Prepare to be sold!
That's when I realized that I needed to be merciful. I couldn't use my powers to permanently harm anyone, no matter how low the regard to which I held him. The next day, I restored VR to his original price and let him go. Now I do that every day. I seize the overpriced, cut them down to size, and at the end of the day I free them to their manufacturer's suggested prices or whatever prices are offered elsewhere. A few learn their lesson; more of them return and create a masochistic cycle of catch and release. Some say that I'm a working-class hero, the Robin Hood of golf products. Some say I'm just a tool. All I know is that I am…DIVOTMAN.

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